Ten Things That Would Be Different If The 12 Apostles Had Been Gay

There seems to be a lot of depressed people on the web the last few days. Many of blogs I’m visiting contain people who are finding themselves in a funk. I’ve always found the idea of group consciousness interesting. Are our minds/bodys tuning into something together? (I DID notice a big moon tonight. Is it waxing or waining?) When I think of stuff like this, it always reminds me of one of my favorite movies: Mindwalk I’m feeling a vague sense of ennui myself. So it should be a pretty short blog tonight. Hey! Who was it? I distinctly heard a *whew*

I know this is kinda old but maybe this will cheer up a few people.

Ten Things That Would Be Different If The 12 Apostles Had Been Gay:

  1. The Last Supper would have been brunch.
  2. The Beatitudes would start, “Fabulous are they…”
  3. Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem screams for a production number, with ostrich feathers, palm fronds, and a large oyster shell instead of just a donkey.
  4. The water at the wedding feast of Canaan would not have been changed to wine, but extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for color.
  5. The temple would not only have been cleansed of moneychangers, but redecorated as well.
  6. Mary’s hair would have been Flawless.
  7. The Gospels would be Mathew, Mark, Lance, and Bruce.
  8. Priests would have torrid affairs with altar boys… wait….never mind.
  9. Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day.
  10. The Sermon on the Mount would have been a musical.

With that, I think it’s best to leave you laughing. Hopefully, you’re laughing. You’re laughing aren’t you? Hello?

I’m getting a lot of encouraging feedback on this site and I really appreciate it. Reaaaly I do… Please keep it coming.

P.S. I’ve upgraded my membership here at blogspot so I now have space to put pictures. Now I have a good use for that digital camera of mine. Only problem is I suck at taking photos. (No, I mean REALLY SUCK!) Oh well…


Bernard-Joseph is a digital marketing strategist, content marketing manager, web designer, and social media expert living in Paris with over 20 years of corporate and private marketing experience. He writes about technology, productivity, travel marketing and the arts.

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